Bereavement and grief support

Support and, where needed, specialist help for people struggling after the death of someone close, including when grief stays severe or 'stuck' for a long time.

✓ Medically reviewed by a GMC-registered consultant · last reviewed September 2026 · next review September 2027 · how we review

In short

Grief is a normal response to loss, not a mental illness — there is no single correct way to grieve and no fixed timetable.
Most people do not need formal treatment; support from family, friends, community and charities such as Cruse is often enough.
When grief stays severe and disabling for many months (often 6–12 months or more), specialist help for prolonged (complicated) grief may help — this is uncommon but important to recognise.
If you ever feel unable to keep yourself safe or have thoughts of suicide, get urgent help now: call 999 or go to A&E, call Samaritans free on 116 123, call NHS 111 and choose the mental-health option (this covers England, Scotland and Wales — in Northern Ireland there is no 111 service, so contact your GP out-of-hours service instead), or text SHOUT to 85258.

A plain-English summary. The detail — including risks and recovery — is below.

At a glance

TypeSupport, talking therapy and, where needed, specialist assessment

AnaestheticNot applicable

How long it takesVaries — from a single supportive conversation to a course of counselling or therapy over weeks or months

Hospital stayOutpatient or online; no hospital stay

Time off workUsually none, though you may want quiet time around appointments

When you'll see resultsThere is no fixed timeline; for most people grief eases gradually, while some need longer support

On the NHS?Bereavement support is widely available free through the NHS/HSC and charities such as Cruse; in England you can often refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies, though service names and referral routes differ in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Private support is used by some for choice or speed

A general guide. Your psychiatrist will give you advice for your situation.

Best fit

Feeling less alone, and reassured that what you are feeling is a normal response to loss.

Pause if

You are in immediate crisis or at risk to your life — you need urgent help now, not routine bereavement counselling.

Main recovery point

Shock, numbness, disbelief and waves of intense emotion are common. Practical support, rest, and gentle routines often matter more than formal therapy at...

Good aftercare

Support offered at your own pace, with no fixed timetable imposed on your grief.

The early days and weeks

Shock, numbness, disbelief and waves of intense emotion are common. Practical support, rest, and gentle routines...

The first few months

Grief usually remains painful but begins, for most people, to come in less constant waves. Support, talking and...

Around 6–12 months

For many, the sharpest intensity has eased, though anniversaries and reminders still hurt. If grief is not easing...

If specialist therapy is offered

Structured therapy for prolonged grief is usually a course of sessions over some weeks or months, aiming to help...

Medical line illustration of talking therapy and psychological support for Bereavement and grief support. — Illustration only - not a diagnosis, medical advice or a promise of result. Your anatomy and treatment plan may differ. Vuemedics does not publish before-and-after photos.

What is bereavement and grief support?

Bereavement and grief support means the practical help, emotional support and, where it is needed, talking therapy or specialist assessment offered to people coming to terms with the death of someone close.

Grief is a normal, human response to loss — not an illness. There is no single 'right' way to grieve and no fixed timetable. Feelings such as deep sadness, numbness, anger, guilt, anxiety, tiredness and even moments of relief are all common, and they often come in waves. For most people, with time and the support of family, friends and community, the intensity of grief gradually softens, even though the loss is never forgotten.

Support exists because grief can be very hard to carry, and because some people find their grief stays severe, disabling or 'stuck' for a long time. When intense grief persists well beyond what would be expected — typically at least 6 to 12 months — and seriously interferes with daily life, this may be described as prolonged grief disorder (sometimes called complicated grief), which can benefit from specific help. Support can also help when grief is tangled up with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, or thoughts of not wanting to be alive.

The aim is never to 'get over' the person or to rush you through stages. It is to help you feel less alone, make sense of what you are feeling, and find a way to live alongside the loss.

Types, options & approaches

There may be different ways to do this. The right approach depends on the clinical question and your circumstances.

Information and self-help

Understanding what grief can feel like, that strong and changing emotions are normal, and simple ways to look after yourself. Reliable charities and the NHS provide this free.

Peer and community support

Talking with others who have been bereaved, through support groups, charity helplines or befriending. For many people, feeling understood by others is enough in itself.

Bereavement counselling

Time with a trained counsellor or therapist to talk through the loss, your relationship with the person, and how you are coping. Offered by charities such as Cruse, the NHS and private practitioners.

Specialist therapy for prolonged grief

A structured, evidence-based talking therapy (such as prolonged grief disorder therapy or a CBT-based approach) for grief that remains severe and disabling many months after the death.

Psychiatric assessment

An assessment by a GP or psychiatrist where grief is tangled up with depression, anxiety, trauma, or thoughts of self-harm, to work out what is happening and what would help most.

Ordinary grief and prolonged (complicated) grief

	What it can look like
Ordinary grief	Intense at first, comes in waves, gradually eases over months. You can still, at times, function and find moments of relief or connection.
Prolonged grief	Severe yearning, preoccupation or inability to accept the loss that persists strongly beyond about 6–12 months and seriously disrupts daily life.
When to seek help	If grief is not easing at all after several months, you cannot function, or you have thoughts of not wanting to be alive — talk to your GP.

These are guides, not rigid rules. Grief is individual, and culture, faith and circumstances all shape it. If you are worried, it is always reasonable to ask for support.

Preparing for your treatment

There is nothing you need to 'prepare' to be allowed support — you can reach out at any point, early or much later.
If you are seeing a counsellor or therapist, it can help to think about what you would most like help with, though you do not have to have the words ready.
Note any practical worries (money, funeral arrangements, children, work) — support can include signposting to practical help, not only emotional support.
Write down all medicines you take and any past or current mental-health difficulties, especially if you are seeing a GP or psychiatrist.
If you are using alcohol or other substances more to cope, it is helpful (and not judged) to mention this, as it affects mood and sleep.
Consider whether you would like to bring someone with you, or be seen on your own.
If a service sends a questionnaire beforehand, filling it in helps them understand how you are doing — but it is not a test you can pass or fail.

What happens

Support can be as simple as a conversation. A counsellor, therapist or clinician will usually start by gently asking about the person who died, your relationship with them, how the death happened, and how you have been since. There are no right answers, and you can say as much or as little as you wish.

They will want to understand how grief is affecting your daily life — your sleep, appetite, work, relationships and mood — and will ask, sensitively, about how you are coping and whether you have had any thoughts of harming yourself. This is routine and is asked to keep you safe, not to judge you.

If grief seems to be following an expected path, support may focus on listening, making sense of feelings, and practical help. If grief is severe, stuck or tangled with depression, anxiety or trauma, they may suggest a specific therapy, a GP review, or referral to a specialist service. Any plan should be made with you, at your pace, and you can change your mind.

Is this treatment right for me?

A good consultation should explore whether it's the right choice for you now — including reasons to wait or consider something else.

May not be suitable if…

You are in immediate crisis or at risk to your life — you need urgent help now, not routine bereavement counselling.
Your main problem is a treatable illness such as depression or post-traumatic stress, which needs its own assessment and treatment alongside grief support.
A provider promises to 'cure' grief or move you through fixed 'stages' on a set timetable — grief does not work that way.
You feel pushed into formal therapy when simple support, time and connection would serve you better.

Delay or rearrange if…

You feel unsafe or are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm — seek urgent help first.
You are using alcohol or drugs heavily to cope, which may need addressing alongside grief support.
You are in the very earliest days of shock after a death and simply need practical support and rest rather than formal therapy.
An untreated mental-health condition would be better assessed before structured grief therapy.

Alternatives to discuss

Support from family, friends, faith or community, which is enough for most people.
Free NHS/HSC psychological-therapies services — in England often called NHS Talking Therapies, which you can usually refer yourself to, while the name and referral route differ in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
National and local bereavement charities such as Cruse, including helplines and groups.
A GP review if you think low mood, anxiety or trauma may need treatment in its own right.
Choosing not to have formal support if you feel you are coping with the help you already have.

Before you decide

Use this as a shared-decision checklist. The aim is not just “can this be done?”, but whether it is right for you, now, with the risks and alternatives clearly understood.

What matters most to me?

Think about symptoms, daily life, work, caring responsibilities, sport, fertility, travel, appearance and anxiety — the right choice depends on your priorities, not just the medical facts.

What are all my options?

Ask about waiting, monitoring, medicines, rehabilitation, a smaller or larger procedure, a different test, NHS referral, or a second opinion where that would help.

What would make me pause?

Active infection, pregnancy, unstable medical problems, smoking, medicines that increase bleeding, poor support at home, or feeling pressured are all reasons to slow down and get tailored advice.

What happens if I do nothing today?

For some problems, waiting is safe; for others, delay can make treatment harder. A good consultation should explain the trade-off in plain English.

Benefits

Feeling less alone, and reassured that what you are feeling is a normal response to loss.
A safe space to talk about the person and the loss without having to protect others.
Help making sense of difficult or conflicting feelings, including guilt, anger or relief.
Recognition and help if grief becomes severe, stuck, or tips into depression, anxiety or trauma.
Practical signposting — to support groups, financial help, and help for children who are grieving.
A clear route to safe, urgent help if you ever feel unable to keep yourself safe.

Risks & complications

More common

Talking about the loss can stir up strong, painful emotions, especially at first.
Feeling tired or low for a while after sessions as you process difficult feelings.
Finding that one type of support, or one counsellor, does not feel right for you.
Grief not following any neat timetable, which can be frustrating or worrying.

Less common

Discovering that depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress is also present and needs treatment in its own right.
Support being unhelpful if it pushes you through 'stages' or rushes you to 'move on'.
Long waits for free counselling in some areas, which can be disheartening.

Rare but serious

Grief becoming so severe that thoughts of self-harm or suicide arise, which needs urgent help.
Being wrongly told that normal grief is a mental illness, leading to unnecessary medicalisation or medication.

The biggest risk in grief support is the wrong response: either being left without any support, or having normal grief treated as an illness and medicalised. Antidepressants do not treat grief itself, though they may be considered if a depressive illness develops alongside it. Good support meets you where you are, does not impose a timetable or 'stages', and knows when to step up to specialist help. If grief is severe and not easing after many months, or you ever feel unsafe, ask your GP for help.

Published figures to discuss

Grief itself cannot be reduced to numbers, and most bereaved people recover with ordinary support and never need treatment. The figure most often quoted is for prolonged grief disorder, where intense grief persists and disables. A systematic review estimated this affects roughly 1 in 10 bereaved adults overall, and rates appear higher after sudden, violent or traumatic deaths. These figures vary widely with how grief is measured, the population studied and the cause of death, so they should be treated as broad guides, not precise risks.

Figure	Reported range	How to interpret it	Source / confidence
Prolonged (complicated) grief disorder after bereavement	Around 1 in 10 bereaved adults in a systematic review (about 10%); higher after sudden, violent or traumatic deaths	Estimates vary widely by population, cause of death and how grief is measured. Most bereaved people do not develop prolonged grief.	Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder — systematic review (PubMed)pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.govPublished figure
Normal grief mislabelled as illness	Common risk if handled insensitively	Sadness, waves of yearning, sleep disruption and changing emotions can be normal after loss.	Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder — systematic review (PubMed)pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.govSource-linked context
Depression, trauma or suicide risk missed	Clinically important	Persistent hopelessness, inability to function, traumatic images, guilt, substance use or suicidal thoughts need assessment.	Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder — systematic review (PubMed)pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.govSource-linked context
Practical and social needs overlooked	Common	Finances, housing, caring responsibilities, rituals and isolation often need as much attention as symptoms.	Guide sourcesClinical context

These are literature figures, not a personalised prediction. Your own risks and likely benefits depend on your circumstances, your health, and how your care is carried out and followed up.

What happens afterwards

There is no physical recovery and no fixed timeline for grief. What matters afterwards is having support available for as long as you need it, and a clear way to get urgent help if things become overwhelming.

The early days and weeks

Shock, numbness, disbelief and waves of intense emotion are common. Practical support, rest, and gentle routines often matter more than formal therapy at this stage.

The first few months

Grief usually remains painful but begins, for most people, to come in less constant waves. Support, talking and connection with others can help you carry it.

Around 6–12 months

For many, the sharpest intensity has eased, though anniversaries and reminders still hurt. If grief is not easing at all and you cannot function, it is reasonable to seek specialist help.

If specialist therapy is offered

Structured therapy for prolonged grief is usually a course of sessions over some weeks or months, aiming to help you adapt to the loss and re-engage with life.

Longer term

Grief tends to change rather than disappear. Many people find they can hold both the loss and a renewed sense of living. Anniversaries and milestones may bring waves back.

What's normal — and not a worry

Waves of sadness, tearfulness, anger, guilt or numbness that come and go unpredictably.
Disturbed sleep, changes in appetite, tiredness and poor concentration for a time.
Wanting to talk about the person a lot — or sometimes not at all.
Difficult dates, places, songs or smells bringing grief flooding back, even much later.
Feeling 'up and down' rather than steadily 'better', which does not mean you are doing it wrong.

Aftercare

Be patient and gentle with yourself; there is no deadline for grief and no 'right' way to do it.
Try to keep some routine, eat regularly, rest, and get outdoors when you can, even briefly.
Stay connected to people you trust, and let them help with practical things.
Be cautious with alcohol or other substances as a way to cope — they tend to worsen sleep and mood.
Use reliable support such as Cruse (0808 808 1677) or your local NHS/HSC psychological-therapies service if you want to talk — in England this is often called NHS Talking Therapies and you can usually refer yourself, while in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland the service name and referral route may differ.
See your GP if grief is not easing after several months, you cannot function, or low mood is persistent.
Keep crisis numbers somewhere easy to find in case you ever feel unable to cope.
If children or young people are grieving too, ask about specific support for them.

Before your treatment

The Cruse helpline number saved (0808 808 1677)
Your GP surgery's number and how to book an urgent appointment
A note of how to reach your local NHS/HSC talking-therapies service (in England you can often self-refer to NHS Talking Therapies; in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland the route may differ, so ask your GP)
Crisis lines saved: 999/A&E, Samaritans 116 123, NHS 111 mental-health option (England, Scotland and Wales; in Northern Ireland use your GP out-of-hours service), text SHOUT to 85258
One or two trusted people you can call when it feels too much
A short list of practical tasks others have offered to help with
Information about grief support for any children or young people affected

⚠ Get urgent help if…

Thoughts of suicide, or feeling you cannot keep yourself safe — get urgent help now.
If life is at immediate risk, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.
For urgent but not life-threatening mental-health support in England, Scotland or Wales, call NHS 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland does not have an NHS 111 service — instead contact your GP out-of-hours service, or your local HSC Trust's Phone First service.
Samaritans are free, day or night, on 116 123, or email [email protected]; or text SHOUT to 85258.
Persistent low mood, hopelessness, or losing interest in everything, lasting weeks — this may be depression and is treatable.
Being unable to function at all — not eating, sleeping or managing basic daily life — many months after the death.
Using alcohol or drugs heavily to cope, or feeling you cannot get through the day without them.
Frightening flashbacks or nightmares, especially after a traumatic or sudden death.

Who to contact: your clinician, clinic or test provider first (keep their number to hand). For urgent advice when you can't reach them, call NHS 111. In an emergency, call 999.

General guidance — it doesn't replace the specific advice your psychiatrist gives you.

Results & realistic expectations

A good outcome is not 'getting over' the person — it is being able to live alongside the loss, with the sharpest pain easing over time and you gradually re-engaging with life and relationships. For most people this happens with time and ordinary support, not formal treatment.

Where specialist therapy is used for prolonged grief, a good result is being able to function again, think of the person without being overwhelmed, and find some meaning and connection. No support can take the pain of loss away, and grief may always return in waves around anniversaries and reminders. That is normal, not a sign that support has failed.

How long it lasts

Grief is not something that finishes on a set date. For most people the intensity softens over the first months and the year that follows, though waves can return around anniversaries, birthdays and other reminders for years. This is a normal part of living with loss, not a relapse. If at any point grief becomes severe again or tips into depression, it is reasonable to seek support once more.

Related tests, treatments or support

Grief often sits alongside other things, and support may need to address them together. Depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress can develop after a bereavement, particularly after a sudden, violent or traumatic death, and may need treatment in their own right. Practical pressures — money, housing, caring responsibilities — can make grief harder, so signposting to practical help is often part of good support.

Follow-up & long-term care

Follow-up depends on what you need. After bereavement counselling you may agree a number of sessions and review how you are doing. If your GP is involved, they may arrange to see you again to check on your mood and safety, especially if depression or risk is a concern. If you were assessed for prolonged grief, the service should set out how many sessions are planned and how progress will be reviewed. You can always come back for support later, even after a gap.

Keep up routines, connection and self-care, especially around difficult anniversaries.
Know how to get back in touch with support if grief intensifies again later.
If you were prescribed any medicine for an associated illness such as depression, attend reviews and never stop it abruptly.
Tell your GP if low mood, anxiety or sleep problems persist or return.

Repeat, follow-on and what comes next

Support may need to change over time — for example, stepping up from general counselling to specialist therapy if grief stays severe.
A first counsellor or type of support may not feel right, and it is reasonable to try a different one.
If depression, anxiety or trauma is found alongside grief, the plan should be revisited to treat that too.
Grief can return in waves around anniversaries, and it is fine to seek support again after a gap.

Ask what happens if the result is unclear or needs repeating, and what is included if further tests or follow-up are needed.

What good aftercare looks like

Support offered at your own pace, with no fixed timetable imposed on your grief.
A clear, named route back to help if grief intensifies again later.
Recognition and onward referral if depression, anxiety or trauma is present alongside grief.
A simple safety plan and crisis numbers in case you ever feel unable to cope.
Signposting to practical help and to support for any children or young people affected.

What affects the cost

Costs vary a great deal between people and providers, and we don't publish prices. What matters is understanding what drives the cost and making sure your quote is complete. The main things that affect it:

Whether you use free NHS or charity support, or pay for private counselling or therapy.
The training and seniority of the counsellor, therapist or clinician.
Whether you have a single supportive session or a course of counselling or specialist therapy.
The type of help — peer support, general counselling, or structured therapy for prolonged grief.
Whether a psychiatric assessment is needed where grief is tangled with depression, anxiety or trauma.
In-person versus online sessions, and the provider's location.

Make sure your written quote includes

Who provides the support and their professional training and registration.
Whether free NHS or charity support could meet your needs first.
How many sessions are planned, and whether the number is flexible.
What each session includes and whether reports or letters cost extra.
How urgent concerns or a crisis would be handled between sessions.
The cancellation and rescheduling policy.
What happens, and what it costs, if you need to be referred on for specialist help.

On the NHS? Bereavement support is widely available free through the NHS/HSC and charities such as Cruse. In England you can often refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies; service names, eligibility and referral routes differ in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, so your GP can point you to the right local service. Private counselling is used by some for speed, choice or continuity.

You're entitled to your total cost in writing — including reports, follow-up and what happens if the result is inconclusive — before you decide.

Choosing a specialist safely

Check the psychiatrist is on the GMC Specialist Register for this area.
Make sure they work at a CQC-registered service, and look for membership of the relevant Royal College or professional body.
You're entitled to time to consider and to have your questions answered before you agree — the psychiatrist who looks after you should explain it, not a salesperson.
Be wary of pressure: time-limited offers or deposits taken before you've had time to think are red flags, not bargains.
You're entitled to your total cost in writing — including any follow-up — before you decide.

How Vuemedics verifies every consultant →

Questions to ask your medical professional

Take this to your consultation. A good psychiatrist will welcome every one of these.

What kinds of grief support are available to me, and which might suit me best?
How do I know whether what I am feeling is normal grief or something that needs more help?
Could my low mood, anxiety or sleep problems be more than grief, and should they be treated?
If I want counselling, who would provide it, and how long would I have to wait?
What should I do, and who do I contact, if I feel unable to cope or unsafe?
Is there specific support for my children or other family members who are grieving?
Are you on the GMC Specialist Register for this area, and which Royal College or professional body are you a member of?
Will you be the psychiatrist who carries out my treatment, and who looks after me afterwards?
What are the risks for someone like me, and how often do your own patients have a problem or need it repeated or redone?
What does a realistic result look like — and what can this treatment not achieve?
What are my options, including waiting, doing nothing for now, or choosing a different approach?
Can I have written information, results and aftercare instructions in a format I can use, including any accessibility or communication support I need?
What is the total cost in writing, including any follow-ups, and how much time do I have to decide?

Frequently asked questions

Is grief a mental illness?

No. Grief is a normal, human response to loss, not an illness. Most people do not need any formal treatment. Support exists because grief can be very hard to carry, and because a minority of people develop prolonged grief or an illness such as depression that does need help.

How long should grief last?

There is no fixed timetable, and anyone who tells you there is should be treated with caution. For most people the intensity eases over months, but waves return around anniversaries for years. If grief stays severe and disabling beyond about 6–12 months, it is reasonable to ask your GP for help.

Can I get bereavement support on the NHS?

Yes. Free support is widely available through the NHS/HSC and national charities such as Cruse. In England you can often refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies; in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland the service names and referral routes differ, so it is worth asking your GP which local service to use. Your GP can also help and refer you on. Some people choose private counselling for speed or choice.

Do I need antidepressants for grief?

Usually not. Antidepressants do not treat grief itself. They may be considered if a depressive illness develops alongside grief, as a shared decision with your doctor. Grief alone is not normally treated with medication.

What is prolonged or complicated grief?

It describes grief that stays intense, disabling and 'stuck' well beyond what would be expected — often at least 6–12 months — and seriously interferes with daily life. It is uncommon but recognised, and specific talking therapies can help. Your GP can advise and refer you.

Is it normal to feel relief, anger or guilt?

Yes. Grief brings a wide and changing mix of feelings, including relief (especially after a long illness), anger and guilt. These do not mean you loved the person any less. Talking about them, including in counselling, often helps.

How can I help a grieving child?

Children grieve too, in their own way, and benefit from honesty, reassurance and routine. Specific support exists for bereaved children and young people; your GP, school, or a charity such as Cruse can point you to it.

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How we made this page

Medically reviewed by a GMC-registered consultant. Written in plain English, checked against NHS, NICE, GMC and relevant Royal College / specialist-society guidance, and kept under review. No clinic paid to appear on this page, and we publish no pricing. This is general information to help you prepare — it is not a substitute for advice from your own clinician. How we review our guides →

Source hierarchy: UK regulator and NHS/NICE guidance first, then relevant Royal College or specialist-society guidance, then peer-reviewed evidence for procedure-specific figures where available.

Sources & standards: NHS — Grief after bereavement or loss Royal College of Psychiatrists — Bereavement Cruse Bereavement Support — Understanding grief Cruse Bereavement Support — Complicated and prolonged grief Cruse Bereavement Support — Helpline (0808 808 1677) Samaritans — free 24/7 support, 116 123 Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder — systematic review (PubMed) nidirect — urgent and emergency care services (NI) nidirect — GP out-of-hours service (NI) NHS — Find NHS Talking Therapies (England) NHS inform — psychological therapies (Scotland) NHS 111 Wales — counselling nidirect — mental-health care professionals (NI)

Reviews reflect patients' experience of care, not clinical outcomes. For procedure volumes and outcome data see PHIN.

Last medically reviewed 2026-09-21. Spotted something wrong or out of date? Report an error in this guide.